Dear 2017,

This is not a resolution. This is a promise I am making to myself in this divine thing called a universe.
I will take time for myself.
I will take time for others.
I will teach and teach till my heart is full.
I will practice peace and inhabit love.
I will celebrate you as I celebrate myself.
I will learn to live and love… again in whatever capacity you deliver it to me.
I will drive just to drive.
I will take more road-trips just to enjoy the beauty you’ve created.
I will pick up the paintbrush again I will let it paint the pictures of beauty that you show me.
I will explore my world.
I will make more time for my loved ones.
I will embark to hidden far off lands.
I will write and express who I am not only with my actions but with my words starting now:

Sometimes even though it doesn’t make sense our lives need to be completely turned upside down to make us feel whole. The past couple of years for me have honestly been really dark and I questioned whether or not I would survive it.

I’m realizing that as adults we make a lot of mistakes. More often than not we even more bridges. I as a person I used to dwell on that so much; I used to beat myself up for those things. I used to think that because of my ‘disorders’ that I would never be normal so o created a world where burning bridges metaphorically was my normal. I’d tell myself the fire in my eyes was abnormal.

May the Bridges I Burn Light the Way

Piece of advice: don’t ever create a world for yourself where certain abnormalities make it impossible for you to be who you are. Listen sometime you need to burn bridges, to cut your losses, to realize that some people are toxic or that you may even be toxic to some people. THAT IS OKAY!!! In my twenties (pre-yogi) I worried constantly about what people thought of me or how I could make people like me. I didn’t even think I would be alive at 30….

Approaching 35 as a practicing yogi and yoga teacher I know how scary that thought is. For me those bridges where not just people; they were suicidal and very dark thoughts. Things I thought I’d never escape.

I HAD to burn my bridges and leave people and things behind.  I came out on the other end and here’s what I learned; I learned that if I take my practice one heartbeat at a time that I’ll be more than ok. I learned that my body needs to stay active to keep my head reactive. I learned that when I get angry, or emotional that it’s ok for me to do so. It doesn’t make me any less of a human being. I’ve learned that teaching gives me a solace that was otherwise uncertain. I learned that certain hearts are meant to find each other and I’m so lucky to have found 25 hearts that for a moment in time collided with mine. These hearts may be separated for now but soon they’ll beat as one again. I’ve learned that as I watch the bridges of my past crumble to ash that light always wins in the end. So your asking, what now? Here’s the key find something you love and embrace it, only you can determine where life will take you for me it looks a little like this.

Packed cars filled with yoga mats, bolsters, blocks and wheels. This is the life I choose. This the life where I can not only mold minds but hearts and souls.

This is the life I’ve created that opens up my energy and let’s me express who I am.

This is the life that has given more opportunity than I could’ve ever imagined.

This is the life that keeps me clean and keeps me sober.

This is the life that keeps my BiPolar Depression at bay; the life that creates a sense of self that my Borderline Personality tries to invade; in this life I am not anxious or socially unconscious.

In this life I am free. I am aware. I am loved. I give love…. and I wouldn’t change this life for a second.

Episode III: coming next month

The post Episode II: Dear 2017 I’m Flipping the Bridge & Lighting the Match appeared first on VETOGA.

The post VETOGA – Teacher Training, November 2016 appeared first on VETOGA.

I am going to preface this by saying this was the most auspicious thing I’ve ever done in my life. But it was also terrifying. You should know though that these people will change your life forever. They will leave footprints on your heart that will be with you in every step.

Awakening

I had no idea that this 11-day journey I was about to embark on would not only awaken my heart but my spirit as well. It all started in December of 2015 when I first heard about VETOGA I loved the vision and direction that founder Justin Blazejewski had and wanted to be a part of it… who didn’t? There are some things you know that you are meant to do in life. This for me was one of them. Teaching yoga was always something I saw myself doing but financially seemed out of reach. However, Justin aimed to create a program that for veterans would take care of all those obstacles; for us he seemed to be our living Ganesha. So I applied to be a part of the first ever training class in April 2016. Let the waiting game begin. There were so many veterans that applied to be a part of the program that I thought it was a long shot. You know like shooting a target from 400 meters… in the dark… blindfolded. At the time I found myself on the side of pessimism because if your always disappointed then you get really excited at surprises. It took this training for me to realize that we deserve the good things in spite of pessimism and yes we deserve the good things too.

In late September I found out that I had in fact been chosen to attend what would be an amazing yoga teacher training experience. I flew into DC on November 10 and for a few hours go to take in the atmosphere of a new city. I met my host Bethany for lunch at GCDC Grilled Cheese Bar and it was delicious. It’s not a super important detail but who doesn’t love food? After she went back to work I meandered around; it would be my last night out for a while. I escaped into the halls of the Lincoln Memorial and felt so blessed that at that moment I was right where I was supposed to be and less than 12 hours later I would wake up to a new possibility. I found myself in a place where I would be able to help veterans and in doing so I could find tools to help myself as well. Selflessness isn’t that the best gift you can obtain.

Part II coming in early 2017

Pictured from left to right: Viveka Om, Sita Om, Yogi Hanuman, Melody Abella and Yogini Kali Gabrielle

The post A New Journey appeared first on VETOGA.